A fondness for family

Bryan here. I think that we have transitioned from begin in a state of sheer horror at what is happening to a state of profound sadness. The unending grief that binds these two emotions has become tinged with hope and an appreciation for what we do have. As we continue to experience the death of our child "in slow motion", we become increasingly aware of the value of life. With each passing day, the baby's kicks become a little more noticeable as Heather's belly grows. While we are keenly aware that one day in the not too distant future the kicks will stop, we do experience joy that couples the sadness. We think about the reality of eternity that awaits us all. The brevity of our lives on Earth does not measure up to even be a "blink" in our overall existence. God has promised to make our baby perfect. In 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter, it states "when perfection comes the imperfect disappears". Since absolutely nobody is perfect here on Earth, then this is a reference for those taken to heaven following death. That sounds pretty darn good to me! The moment David dies, whether in Heather's womb, during child birth or just after, he will awake in heaven with a perfect body, mind and soul. This "hope" that we possess sure lessens the sting of this situation.

As can be imagined, it has brought our family even closer together. The little day-to-day irritants really don't matter anymore and actually seem silly. Our relationship (Heather and I) has become much tighter. The relationship with the kids has deepened considerably as well. They are truly a joy and a source of strength.

I don't know why God allowed for this to happen to us, or to anyone for that matter. I'm sure that I never will completely know. Sometimes, there are no answers-or any answers that we can comprehend. Yes this angers me at times, but I am just a man. I think of my pet dog/wolf. When I leave for work in the morning, he has no idea why I am leaving or what I am doing. He does not have the mental capabilities to understand such simple things. So it is with me. What do I know. My job is to follow, obey and to trust God. His track record isn't too bad, you know. As long as there is chocolate in Heaven, I will be ok! :-)