Tough day

Bryan here. Today is probably going to be one of the harder days. We have to go to the cemetery to pick out a plot and to look at the infant caskets. This is a horrible contrast to what we should be doing at this point which should be picking out a crib and other baby items.

I haven't written in the past couple of weeks because there hasn't been much to say or any developments to note. David (our baby) continues to get more active and is actually doing quite well at the moment, but I am fully aware this won't last more than a couple of months longer.

For those who have not been through something like this it is the emotional equivalent of being buried alive. Each day, a new shovel full of dirt is thrown on top of you. It becomes harder to breath, harder to move. Today we get two more shovel fulls thrown on us. If there's a limit to this, we haven't found it yet.

Our two children continue to be the bright light for us in this.

I continue to struggle to find an acceptable reason why this is allowed to happen not only to our baby but other innocent, blameless babies out there. The Bible states that "The wages of sin is death," meaning both physical death (this) and spiritual death (eternal separation from God-unless a person becomes a Christian). Our baby will never have the unfortunate opportunity to make a choice to commit a sin-and is therefore without sin.Why should he have to die then? Yes, we all carry the "sin gene", and he does too, but again he will have never sinned and therefore should not have to pay the consequence. This is the riddle that I cannot solve.

So today is one of those days where we have to place on foot in front of the other. The good thing about days is that there are only 24 hours in them. They have to end, just like every trial has to eventually end.